Active listening is a crucial skill in effective communication, fostering deeper connections, and truly understanding others.At QMAK, we recognize the importance of developing this skill from a young age.
On this page, we’ll explore the different levels of listening and provide tips on how to progress from one level to the next, ultimately achieving a state of transcendent listening.
UPDATE: We’ve added a song to each level to assist you in teaching active listening to your children.
At this level, you are completely disregarding what the other person is saying, showing no attention or interest in the conversation. To move beyond this level, make a conscious effort to acknowledge the speaker’s presence and the fact that they are communicating with you.
TIP: Set aside distractions and make eye contact with the speaker to show that you are ready to listen.
Verse 1:
In the world of listening, there’s a journey to take
From ignoring to transcendence, for connection’s sake
At level one, we disregard, the words that are spoken
No attention or interest, the silence unbroken
Pre-Chorus:
But there’s a path to follow, to move beyond this stage
To acknowledge the speaker, and turn a new page
It starts with a choice, to be present and aware
To set aside distractions, and show that we care
Chorus:
Listen up, listen up, don’t let the words fade away
Listen up, listen up, there’s so much more to say
From self-absorbed to pre-occupied, and split attention too
Each level brings us closer, to a connection true
Verse 2:
For the little ones, it’s a skill they must learn
To respond to their name, and the presence they discern
By age three, they should know, how to acknowledge and show
That they’re ready to listen, and let the connection grow
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
Bridge:
From effortful to present, engaged and empathetic
Appreciative and transcendent, the journey’s poetic
Each step a chance to grow, in understanding and grace
To build a world of connection, in every time and place
(Chorus)
Outro:
So let’s break free from ignoring, and open our ears
To the words that are spoken, and the stories we hear
For in the end, it’s the connections we make
That bring us closer together, for humanity’s sake
You may appear to be listening, but your focus is entirely on your own thoughts, memories, or inner dialogue. To progress from this level, practice redirecting your attention to the speaker and their words.
TIP: Take a deep breath and mentally set aside your own thoughts, focusing on the present moment and the person speaking to you.
Verse 1:
Moving past ignoring, we take a step ahead
But self-absorbed listening, still fills our head
Our thoughts and memories, they take the lead
While the speaker’s words, we barely heed
Pre-Chorus:
It’s a challenge to redirect, our attention to the present
To set aside our inner world, and be truly present
But with practice and awareness, we can start to grow
From self-absorbed listening, to a deeper flow
Chorus:
Breathe in, breathe out, let go of your thoughts
Focus on the speaker, and the wisdom they’ve brought
It’s a journey of growth, from level two to three
Towards pre-occupied listening, and the insights we’ll see
Verse 2:
By age five or six, we start to understand
The importance of focusing, on the words at hand
But it takes time and effort, to truly master the art
Of listening with presence, and an open heart
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
Bridge:
From split attention to effortful, and present listening too
Each level brings us closer, to a connection true
Empathy and appreciation, they guide us on our way
To transcendent listening, where boundaries fade away
(Chorus)
Outro:
So let’s keep practicing, the art of listening well
Moving past self-absorption, with stories we’ll tell
For in the end, it’s the connections we make
That bring us closer together, for humanity’s sake
At this level, you are attempting to listen, but your mind is busy formulating a response, preventing you from fully comprehending the speaker’s message. To move forward, practice patience and resist the urge to interrupt or plan your reply.
TIP: Remind yourself that understanding the speaker’s perspective is more important than preparing your own response. Trust that the right words will come to you when it’s your turn to speak.
Verse 1:
From self-absorbed to pre-occupied, we’ve come so far
But the urge to respond, it’s like a guiding star
We listen to the words, but our minds are racing
Formulating replies, instead of embracing
Pre-Chorus:
The speaker’s perspective, it holds the key
To understanding deeply, to truly see
But we must resist, the temptation to interrupt
And trust that our words, will come when it’s abrupt
Chorus:
Patience is a virtue, in the art of listening
Pre-occupied we may be, but it’s a new beginning
From six to eight, this stage may persist
But by nine, we learn to resist
Verse 2:
Split attention awaits, at level four
Where our reactions and opinions, they start to soar
But let’s not get ahead, for now, we must focus
On the present moment, and the words that are spoken
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
Bridge:
Effortful listening, present and engaged
Each level a stepping stone, on the path we’ve paved
Towards empathy and appreciation, we’ll strive
To reach transcendence, where connections thrive
(Chorus)
Outro:
So let’s keep practicing, the art of patience
In pre-occupied listening, and all its variations
For when we truly listen, without the need to reply
We open up a world, where understanding never dies
You are listening to some extent, but your attention is divided between the speaker’s words and your own internal reactions and opinions. To progress, work on quieting your inner dialogue and giving your full attention to the speaker.
TIP: When you notice your mind wandering or forming opinions, gently redirect your focus back to the speaker’s words and body language.
Verse 1:
From pre-occupied to split attention, we’ve come so far
Listening to some extent, but our minds still wander
Internal reactions and opinions, they pull us away
From the speaker’s words, and the message they convey
Pre-Chorus:
To progress beyond this level, we must learn to quiet
The inner dialogue that keeps us from being fully present
Gently redirecting our focus, back to the speaker’s voice
And the body language that accompanies their choice
Chorus:
Split attention, a challenge we face
Between the ages of eight and ten, it’s a common place
But by eleven, we start to see
The importance of giving our full attention, to truly be
Verse 2:
Effortful listening awaits, at level five
Where boredom and distractions, they keep us barely alive
But with curiosity and interest, we can start to grow
Towards present listening, and the insights we’ll know
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
Bridge:
From engaged to empathetic, appreciative and beyond
Each level a stepping stone, to a connection strong
Transcendent listening, the ultimate goal
Where boundaries dissolve, and we feel whole
(Chorus)
Outro:
So let’s keep practicing, the art of attention
In split listening, and all its dimensions
For when we fully focus, on the words that are said
We open up a world, where understanding is bred
You are listening, but it requires conscious effort due to boredom, disagreement, or distractions. To move beyond this level, cultivate a genuine curiosity about the speaker’s perspective and the topic at hand.
TIP: Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this person?” and “How can I understand their point of view more deeply?” This shift in mindset can help you stay engaged.
Verse 1:
From split attention to effortful listening, we progress
Conscious effort required, to manage the stress
Of boredom, disagreement, or distractions that persist
But with curiosity and interest, we can learn to resist
Pre-Chorus:
To move beyond this level, we must cultivate
A genuine desire to understand, and appreciate
The speaker’s perspective, and the topic at hand
Asking ourselves, “What can I learn?” as we expand
Chorus:
Effortful listening, a challenge we face
Between the ages of ten and twelve, it’s a common place
But by thirteen, we start to see
The value of listening effortlessly, to truly be
Verse 2:
Present listening awaits, at level six
Where our focus is full, and our attention transfixed
On the speaker’s words, tone, and expressions too
Paraphrasing and questioning, to understand what’s true
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
Bridge:
From engaged to empathetic, appreciative and sublime
Each level a stepping stone, to connections that align
Transcendent listening, the peak of our ascent
Where boundaries fade, and our hearts are content
(Chorus)
Outro:
So let’s keep practicing, the art of effortful listening
Cultivating curiosity, and the insights we’re missing
For when we truly listen, with an open mind and heart
We create a space for growth, and understanding to impart
At this level, you are fully present and attentive, focusing on the speaker’s words, tone, facial expressions, and overall meaning. To enhance your listening skills further, practice active listening techniques such as paraphrasing and asking clarifying questions.
TIP: Summarize the speaker’s main points in your own words to ensure you have understood them correctly, and ask open-ended questions to encourage elaboration.
Verse 1:
From effortful to present listening, we’ve come so far
Fully focused and attentive, like a shining star
The speaker’s words, tone, and expressions, we embrace
Striving to understand, the meaning and the grace
Pre-Chorus:
To enhance our skills, we practice with intent
Paraphrasing and questioning, to ensure we comprehend
Summarizing the main points, and asking for more
Encouraging elaboration, to explore the core
Chorus:
Present listening, a skill to master
By age fourteen, we’re ready to foster
Deeper connections, and understanding too
Through active listening, and the techniques we use
Verse 2:
Engaged listening beckons, at level seven
Where interest is high, and focus is heaven-sent
Connecting the speaker’s ideas, with our own experiences
Building upon the message, with our unique inferences
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
Bridge:
From empathetic to appreciative, and transcendent too
Each level a stepping stone, to a connection true
Where patience, gratitude, and shared humanity
Dissolve the boundaries, and set our spirits free
(Chorus)
Outro:
So let’s keep practicing, the art of present listening
Fully focused and attentive, our hearts glistening
For when we truly listen, with presence and care
We create a bond that’s strong, and a love that’s rare
You are listening attentively with a high level of interest, and your focus is effortlessly directed toward the speaker. To deepen your engagement, look for opportunities to connect the speaker’s ideas with your own experiences or knowledge.
TIP: Share relevant stories or insights that build upon the speaker’s message, demonstrating your active participation in the conversation.
Verse 1:
From present to engaged listening, we’ve reached a new height
Effortlessly directed, with interest shining bright
Connecting the speaker’s ideas, with our own experiences and knowledge
Building upon the message, with our unique acknowledgements
Pre-Chorus:
To deepen our engagement, we look for opportunities
To share relevant stories, and insights with clarity
Demonstrating our active participation, in the conversation’s flow
Enriching the exchange, with the seeds we sow
Chorus:
Engaged listening, a level of mastery
By age fifteen or sixteen, we’re ready to be
Fully absorbed in the moment, learning and growing
From the experiences and insights, the speaker is bestowing
Verse 2:
Empathetic listening calls, at level eight
Where emotions and motivations, we strive to appreciate
Putting ourselves in the speaker’s shoes, to understand their view
Acknowledging their feelings, and the journey they’ve been through
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
Bridge:
From appreciative to transcendent, the pinnacle of our quest
Where patience, gratitude, and unity, manifest
Recognizing the brilliance, in every person and conversation
Embracing the profound connection, and the transformation
(Chorus)
Outro:
So let’s keep practicing, the art of engaged listening
Fully absorbed and interested, our hearts glistening
For when we truly listen, with engagement and care
We create a space for growth, and a bond that’s rare
At this level, you not only listen attentively but also seek to understand the underlying emotions and motivations behind the speaker’s words. To further develop your empathetic listening skills, practice putting yourself in the speaker’s shoes and acknowledging their feelings.
TIP: Use phrases like, “I can imagine how that must have felt” or “It sounds like this is really important to you” to show that you are attuned to their emotional state.
Verse 1:
From engaged to empathetic listening, we’ve reached a new plane
Seeking to understand, the emotions and motives, in every refrain
Putting ourselves in the speaker’s shoes, to feel what they feel
Acknowledging their journey, and the wounds that may heal
Pre-Chorus:
To further develop, our empathetic listening skills
We practice attuning, to the speaker’s emotional thrills
Using phrases like “I can imagine,” or “It sounds like it’s important to you”
Showing that we’re present, and that we hear them through and through
Chorus:
Empathetic listening, a level of emotional maturity
By age sixteen or seventeen, we’re ready to be
Attuned to the feelings, that lie beneath the words
Offering support and understanding, in a world that often hurts
Verse 2:
Appreciative listening beckons, at level nine
Where patience and gratitude, intertwine
Recognizing the value, in every person and conversation
Expressing appreciation, for the insights and revelation
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
Bridge:
Transcendent listening, the ultimate goal
Where boundaries dissolve, and we feel whole
A profound connection, that transcends the words we say
A shared human experience, that forever stays
(Chorus)
Outro:
So let’s keep practicing, the art of empathetic listening
Attuning to emotions, our hearts glistening
For when we truly listen, with empathy and care
We create a bond of understanding, that’s precious and rare
You listen with infinite patience, radiating appreciation and amazement for the speaker, recognizing their humanity and brilliance. To cultivate this level of listening, practice gratitude and look for the inherent value in every person and conversation.
TIP: Express your appreciation for the speaker’s insights, courage, or vulnerability, and let them know how their words have positively impacted you.
Verse 1:
From empathetic to appreciative listening, we’ve grown
With infinite patience, our hearts have shown
Radiating amazement, for the speaker’s humanity
Recognizing their brilliance, and the wisdom they carry
Pre-Chorus:
To cultivate this level, of listening so rare
We practice gratitude, and look for the value there
In every person and conversation, a treasure to behold
Expressing our appreciation, for the stories they’ve told
Chorus:
Appreciative listening, a level of grace
Where we open our hearts, and give each other space
To share our insights, our courage, and vulnerability
Acknowledging the impact, of this shared humanity
Verse 2:
Transcendent listening calls, at the pinnacle of our art
Where boundaries dissolve, and we’re no longer apart
A profound connection, that goes beyond the words
A shared human experience, where our souls are stirred
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
Bridge:
From ignoring to transcendence, we’ve journeyed far
Through self-absorbed and pre-occupied, we’ve reached for the stars
Split attention and effortful, we’ve learned to let go
Present and engaged, our empathy did grow
(Chorus)
Outro:
So let’s keep practicing, the art of appreciative listening
With gratitude and wonder, our hearts glistening
For when we truly listen, with appreciation and care
We create a bond of unity, that’s precious and rare
At this pinnacle of listening, you experience a profound connection with the speaker, where the boundaries between listener and speaker dissolve. To approach this level, focus on the shared human experience and the universal truths that underlie the conversation.
TIP: Embrace the moment of connection and allow yourself to be transformed by the exchange of ideas and emotions.
Verse 1:
From appreciative to transcendent listening, we’ve arrived
At the pinnacle of connection, where our souls are revived
Boundaries dissolve, and we become one
In this profound moment, where listening has won
Pre-Chorus:
To approach this level, we focus on the core
The shared human experience, that we all explore
The universal truths, that bind us all together
In this sacred space, where listening is the tether
Chorus:
Transcendent listening, the ultimate goal
Where we connect so deeply, it feels like coming home
A profound understanding, that goes beyond the mind
In this state of unity, where love is all we find
Verse 2:
From ignoring to self-absorbed, and pre-occupied too
Split attention and effortful, we’ve journeyed through
Present and engaged, empathetic and appreciative
Each level a stepping stone, to this moment so transformative
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
Bridge:
In this space of transcendence, we are forever changed
Our hearts are open wide, our perspectives rearranged
We see the world anew, through the eyes of compassion
And listen with a presence, that’s beyond any fashion
(Chorus)
Outro:
So let’s keep striving, for this level so sublime
Transcendent listening, where we leave behind the confines of time
For when we truly listen, with our whole being and soul
We create a connection, that makes us feel whole
Developing active listening skills is a journey that requires patience, practice, and self-awareness. By understanding the different levels of listening and consciously working to progress through them, you can become a more compassionate, understanding, and effective communicator.
At QMAK, we encourage students and families to cultivate these skills, as they not only enhance personal relationships but also contribute to a more harmonious and connected world.
Remember, the key to transcendent listening lies in your willingness to be fully present, empathetic, and appreciative of the person before you.
Have the children sit in a circle. One child starts a story with a single sentence, and each child adds to the story in turn. The key is to listen carefully to what has been said before and continue the narrative logically. This activity promotes engaged listening and encourages children to build upon each other’s ideas.
Read a short story aloud, instructing the children to listen for specific details, such as characters’ names, locations, or key events. After the story, have the children work together to answer questions about the details they were listening for. This activity encourages focused, present listening and helps children practice retaining information.
In pairs, have children discuss a topic they disagree on. After each child speaks, the other must paraphrase what they heard before responding with their own perspective. This activity promotes effortful listening, as children must focus on understanding the other’s viewpoint, even when they disagree.
Have the children work in small groups to create and perform short skits that demonstrate different levels of listening, from ignoring to transcendent listening. After each skit, discuss the listening behaviors portrayed and how they affected the characters and the outcome of the situation. This activity helps children recognize and practice various levels of listening in a fun, engaging way.
Remember, at QMAK, we don’t just teach; we empower. We don’t just inform; we inspire. We don’t just question; we act. Become a Gold Member, and let’s unlock your child’s full potential, one question at a time.