Foster Emotional Intelligence: Building Awareness and Regulation Skills

Emotional intelligence forms the foundation of personal power, helping children understand and manage their own emotions while recognizing and responding appropriately to the feelings of others.

Children with strong emotional intelligence navigate social situations more effectively, build healthier relationships, and develop greater resilience in the face of challenges.

These activities are designed to help children aged 6 and up develop the core components of emotional intelligence: emotional awareness, expression, regulation, and empathy.

Through engaging, age-appropriate exercises, children learn to recognize their emotional landscape and develop tools for navigating it effectively.

Activities

1. Emotion Wheel Creation

Purpose:

To expand emotional vocabulary and develop awareness of emotional nuances.

Materials Needed:

Large circular cardboard or poster board
Colored markers, pencils, or paints
Magazine cutouts of facial expressions
Scissors and glue
Emotion word cards

Steps:

1. Preparation and Introduction:

Begin by explaining that emotions are like colors – there are many different shades and varieties.

Just as we have many words for colors (not just “blue” but “navy,” “sky blue,” “turquoise”), we have many words for feelings.

Show some examples of emotion wheels online or in books to provide inspiration.

2. Creating the Basic Wheel:

Draw a large circle on the cardboard and divide it into 6-8 sections (like a pie).

Start with basic emotions in the inner circle: happy, sad, angry, scared, surprised, disgusted.

Talk about each emotion as you work:

- “When do you feel happy?
- What does your body feel like when you’re happy?”
- “What might make someone feel sad?
- How can you tell if someone is feeling sad?”

3. Adding Emotional Complexity:

In the outer rings, add variations and intensities of each basic emotion.

For example:

Happy: pleased, joyful, excited, proud, content
Sad: disappointed, gloomy, heartbroken, lonely
Angry: frustrated, annoyed, furious, jealous

4. For each emotion, discuss:

How is feeling ‘disappointed’ different from feeling ‘heartbroken’?”
“What might make you feel ‘annoyed’ versus ‘furious’?”

5. Personalizing the Wheel:

Add images, drawings, or symbols that represent each emotion for your child. These could be:

Facial expressions
Colors that represent the emotion
Symbols (e.g., a thundercloud for anger)
Personal examples (“When I lost my toy” under sad)

6. Using the Wheel:

Keep the wheel accessible and use it regularly:

During daily check-ins: “Where on the wheel are you feeling right now?”
When reading stories: “Where on the wheel do you think this character is?”
After difficult situations: “Let’s look at the wheel to help describe how that made you feel.”
Create a spinner to randomly select emotions for discussion or role-play

Extension Activities:

Create a family emotion wheel with everyone’s contributions
Make a smaller portable version for your child’s backpack
Add coping strategies around the outside for each emotion

2. Emotion Matching Game

Purpose: To develop emotional recognition skills and build empathy through playful interaction.

Materials Needed:

Index cards or cardstock
Photos of people showing various emotions
Emotion word cards
Storage container
Timer (optional)
Notebook for tracking

Steps:

1. Creating the Game Cards:

Work with your child to create matching pairs of emotion cards.

You can make these in different ways:

- Matching faces: Two photos showing the same emotion
- Word to face: An emotion word matched to a face showing that emotion
- Situation to emotion: A scenario card matched to the likely resulting emotion

2.

As you create the cards, discuss each emotion:

- “How can we tell this person is feeling excited?”
- “What clues do you see in their face and body?”
- “Have you ever felt this way? What happened?”

3. Starting with Simple Matching:

Begin with just 3-4 pairs of clearly distinct emotions (happy, sad, angry, surprised).

Arrange the cards face down and take turns flipping two cards to find matches.

When a match is found, the player should:

- Name the emotion
- Demonstrate the facial expression
- Share a time they felt that way

4. Adding Complexity Gradually:

As your child masters the basic game, add more challenging elements:

- Include more subtle emotions (disappointed, nervous, proud)
- Add emotion intensity pairs (annoyed/furious, happy/ecstatic)
- Include cards with just body language (no faces)
- Create mixed-emotion cards (happy but nervous, angry but sad)

5. Using the Game for Discussions:

After matching pairs, extend learning with questions like:

- - “What might make someone feel this way?”
  - “What would you do if your friend was feeling this emotion?”
  - “What helps you when you feel this way?”

6. Variations and Extensions:

Keep the game fresh with different approaches:

Emotion Memory: Play traditional matching game
Emotion Go Fish: “Do you have a ‘surprised’ card?”
Emotion Categories: Sort cards by emotion families
Emotion Charades: Act out the emotion on a selected card

Progression Suggestions:

Start with 3-4 basic emotions with 2 matches each
Add 1-2 new emotions each week
Gradually include more subtle emotional expressions
Move from concrete matches to more abstract connections

3. Role-Playing Emotional Scenarios

Purpose: To practice emotional responses in a safe environment and develop empathy through perspective-taking.

Materials Needed:

Scenario cards
Simple props or costumes
Emotion cards for reference
Discussion question cards
Comfortable space for acting

Steps:

1. Creating Scenario Cards:

Develop age-appropriate scenarios that involve emotional situations relevant to your child’s life.

Write these on cards with clear, simple language.

Include scenarios like:

- “Your friend doesn’t want to play the game you suggested.”
- “Someone gives you a birthday present you already have.”
- “Your parent is busy when you want to tell them something important.”
- “You worked hard on something but it didn’t turn out right.”

2. Setting the Stage:

Create a comfortable, judgment-free environment for role-playing.

Explain that this is a chance to practice different feelings and responses:

- “We’re going to pretend different situations and practice our feelings.”
- “There are no wrong answers – we’re just exploring together.”
- “We can pause anytime to talk about what’s happening.”

3.

Establish a simple signal (like “freeze”) that either of you can use to pause the role-play for discussion.

4. Guided Role-Play Process:

Follow these steps for each scenario:

1. Select a scenario card and read it together
2. Discuss what emotions might arise in this situation
3. Assign roles (switch roles in subsequent rounds)
4. Act out the scenario, staying in character
5. Freeze at emotional moments to discuss:
  - “What are you feeling right now?”
  - “How can you tell what the other person is feeling?”
  - “What do you want to do next?”
6. Try different responses to the same scenario

5. Reflection and Discussion:

After each role-play, have a deeper conversation:

- “How did it feel to be in that position?”
- “What was challenging about this situation?”
- “What worked well in how you responded?”
- “What might you try differently next time?”
- “Have you ever experienced something similar?”

6. Building Complexity:

As your child becomes comfortable with basic scenarios, introduce more nuanced situations:

- Scenarios with mixed emotions
- Situations involving multiple people
- Scenarios where emotions change during the interaction
- Real-life challenges your child has faced or might face

Example Scenarios for Different Ages:

Ages 6-7: Sharing toys, joining a game, making a mistake
Ages 8-9: Disagreeing with friends, losing at games, feeling left out
Ages 10+: Peer pressure, disappointments, conflicts between friends

4. Gratitude Journaling

Purpose: To develop emotional awareness through recognizing positive experiences and cultivating appreciation.

Materials Needed:

Special notebook or journal
Decorative materials
Colored pens or pencils
Stickers or stamps
Gratitude prompts

Steps:

1. Creating the Gratitude Journal:

Make the journal special and personal by having your child:

- Decorate the cover with images that bring joy
- Create a title page (“My Gratitude Journey” or similar)
- Design a simple template for entries
- Add inspirational quotes or pictures throughout

2.

Explain that this journal is a special place to remember good things and happy feelings.

3. Establishing a Routine:

Set a regular time for gratitude journaling – this could be:

- Part of the bedtime routine
- During breakfast to start the day positively
- After school to reflect on the day
- Weekly family gratitude sessions

4.

Start with a goal of 3 entries per week and adjust based on your child’s interest and engagement.

5. Guiding the Journaling Process:

For each entry, provide age-appropriate prompts:

- “What made you smile today?”
- “Who were you happy to see today?”
- “What is something beautiful you noticed?”
- “What is something your body could do today?”
- “Who helped you today, and how?”

6.

For younger children or those who prefer drawing:

- “Draw something that made you happy today”
- “Color how you felt when [positive event] happened”

7. Deepening the Practice:

As your child becomes comfortable with basic gratitude, introduce more reflective elements:

- “How did this good thing make your body feel?”
- “Why do you think this made you happy?”
- “How could you bring more of this into tomorrow?”
- “How might you help someone else experience this feeling?”

8. Sharing and Celebrating Gratitude:

Create opportunities to share gratitude:

- Family gratitude circles where everyone shares
- Gratitude letters to people they appreciate
- Gratitude scavenger hunts to find things to appreciate
- Seasonal gratitude reviews to notice patterns
- Gratitude art projects based on journal themes

Age-Appropriate Modifications:

Ages 6-7: Simple drawings with dictated captions
Ages 8-9: Combination of writing and drawing
Ages 10+: More detailed writing with reflection questions

5. Mindful Breathing Exercises

Purpose: To develop emotional regulation skills through body awareness and breathing techniques.

Materials Needed:

Comfortable sitting space
Visual aids for breathing
Timer or chime
Breathing buddy (stuffed animal)
Chart to track practice

Steps:

1. Introducing Mindful Breathing:

Begin with a simple explanation appropriate to your child’s age:

- “Our breath is always with us and can help us feel calm.”
- “When we feel big emotions, our breathing changes.”
- “We can use our breath like a remote control for our feelings.”

2.

Demonstrate slow, deep breathing and invite your child to notice:

- How it feels in their nose, throat, and chest
- The rise and fall of their belly
- The sound of their breath
- How their body feels different after a few deep breaths

3. Belly Breathing with a Buddy:

Start with this simple, engaging technique:

Have your child lie down with a stuffed animal on their belly
Guide them to breathe deeply so the toy rises and falls
Count together: “In for 1-2-3, out for 1-2-3”
Practice for 1-2 minutes

4. Five-Finger Breathing:

Trace the outline of one hand with the index finger of the other
Breathe in while tracing up a finger
Breathe out while tracing down
Continue until all five fingers are traced

5. Rainbow Breath:

Raise arms in an arc while breathing in
Lower arms while breathing out
Imagine painting a rainbow with each breath

6. Establishing a Regular Practice:

Create a short daily breathing routine:

Start with just 1-2 minutes and gradually increase
Use the same location and time when possible
Include a simple start and end ritual (like ringing a bell)
Track practice on a calendar with stickers
Join your child in practice to model the behavior

7. Applying Breathing to Emotional Situations:

Help your child use breathing in real emotional moments:

- Notice and name the emotion: “You seem frustrated.”
- Suggest breathing: “Should we take some rainbow breaths?”
- Breathe together: “Let’s do three breaths together.”
- Notice the change: “How does your body feel now?”
- Reflect: “Did that help? What else might help?”

8. Expanding the Practice:

As your child becomes familiar with basic techniques, introduce:

- Longer practice sessions (5-10 minutes)
- More complex breathing patterns
- Combining breathing with gentle movement
- Using breathing proactively before stressful events
- Teaching techniques to siblings or friends

Progression Guide:

Weeks 1-2: Introduce one technique, practice for 1 minute
Weeks 3-4: Add second technique, increase to 2 minutes
Weeks 5-6: Begin using during mild emotional moments

These emotional intelligence activities help children develop:

Expanded emotional vocabulary
Recognition of feelings in themselves and others
Healthy strategies for expressing emotions
Tools for emotion regulation
Greater empathy and interpersonal awareness

Remember that emotional intelligence develops gradually and requires consistent practice and modeling. Celebrate progress and recognize that even difficult emotional moments are opportunities for learning and growth.

Next Steps

Begin with activities that match your child’s interests
Practice regularly but keep sessions enjoyable
Model emotional awareness in your own behavior
Connect activities to real-life experiences
Adjust complexity based on your child’s development

The goal is to help children recognize emotions as valuable information that can guide their actions and decisions rather than overwhelming or controlling them.