Limit Exposure to Negative Influences: Creating an Environment That Fosters Resilience

The media, stories, and messages that surround children significantly impact their developing worldview and emotional responses.

Children who tend toward self-pity can be particularly vulnerable to negative influences that reinforce victim mentality, pessimism, or helplessness.

By thoughtfully curating the content and messages your child encounters, you can create an environment that naturally encourages resilience, optimism, and empowerment.

These activities are designed to help you minimize negative influences while intentionally introducing positive, resilience-building content and experiences for your 7-year-old.

Through these practices, children develop an internal library of empowering stories and examples that counteract tendencies toward self-pity.

Activities

1. Positive Media Selection

Purpose: To intentionally choose books, shows, games, and other media that model resilience, constructive problem-solving, and positive attitudes.

Materials Needed:

Media review resources
Media selection criteria list
Family media plan template
Discussion question cards

Media reflection journal
Preview time for parents
Library card or media subscriptions
Media schedule

Steps:

1. Developing Thoughtful Selection Criteria:

Create guidelines for choosing positive, empowering media:

Together with your child, discuss what makes media “positive”:
1. Shows characters solving problems constructively
2. Depicts realistic challenges followed by perseverance
3. Avoids whining, excessive complaining, or bratty behavior
4. Includes diverse characters showing resilience
5. Contains humor that doesn’t rely on put-downs
6. Demonstrates healthy emotional expression and coping
Create age-appropriate selection questions:
1. “What do the characters do when things get hard?”
2. “How do people treat each other in this story?”
3. “Does this show people figuring things out or just complaining?”
4. “How do you feel after watching/reading this?”
5. “What kinds of things do you learn from this?”
Develop a simple rating system:
1. Thumbs up/down for younger children
2. Star ratings for older children
3. “Helpful” vs. “Unhelpful” categories
4. “Makes me feel good/bad” evaluation

2. Creating a Positive Media Environment:

Proactively fill your home with constructive content:

Audit current media collection:
1. Review books, movies, games, apps
2. Evaluate based on selection criteria
3. Keep positive items prominently displayed
4. Quietly remove or limit access to particularly negative items
5. Replace problematic favorites with similar but more positive alternatives
Research and acquire positive alternatives:
1. Ask librarians for recommendations
2. Consult media review sites for parents
3. Join parent groups that share recommendations
4. Preview content before sharing with your child
5. Regularly rotate in new positive options
Create special access to positive choices:
1. Dedicated “resilience bookshelf”
2. Playlist of uplifting music or podcasts
3. Collection of positive movies or shows
4. Approved game or app list

3. Establishing Media Consumption Routines:

Structure when and how media is used:

Create clear media boundaries:
1. Designated media times
2. Screen-free zones and hours
3. “One in, one out” policy for new media
4. Pre-approved content lists
5. Adult oversight for new media
Balance consumption with creation:
1. For every hour of media consumption, plan creative activities
2. Encourage making their own stories, art, or games
3. Transform favorite media into active play
4. Discuss differences between consuming and creating
Implement “preview and discuss” habits:
1. Preview new shows or books first
2. Set expectations before watching
3. Watch/read together when possible
4. Pause for discussion during content
5. Reflect afterward about messages

4. Guiding Media Discussions:

Use thoughtful questions to develop critical thinking:

During media experiences, ask:
1. “What problem is happening in this story?”
2. “How is this character feeling right now?”
3. “What choices does the character have?”
4. “What do you think might happen next?”
5. “Would you handle this the same way?”
After media experiences, discuss:
1. “What did you like about that story?”
2. “Was there anything you didn’t like or that bothered you?”
3. “What did the main character learn?”
4. “What would you do in that situation?”
5. “Did anything surprise you about how things worked out?”
Connect to personal experiences:
1. “Have you ever felt like that character?”
2. “Did this remind you of anything that happened to you?”
3. “Could we try what that character did next time you feel upset?”
4. “What did you learn that might help you when things get hard?”

5. Handling Problematic Media Exposure:

Address inevitable encounters with negative content:

When negative influences slip through:
1. Remain calm and avoid overreacting
2. Ask what your child noticed or thought
3. Offer your perspective on concerning elements
4. Balance criticism with alternatives
5. Use as a teaching opportunity when appropriate
For peer-recommended media:
1. Preview when possible
2. Suggest watching together
3. Offer alternative activities
4. Help your child respond to peer pressure
5. Find positive alternatives that satisfy similar interests
For media at others’ homes:
1. Communicate politely with other parents about concerns
2. Prepare your child with simple responses
3. Discuss experiences afterward
4. Focus on your family’s values without judgment
5. Problem-solve together for future situations

Media Selection Resources:

Common Sense Media (reviews and age recommendations)
American Library Association’s Notable Children’s Books
Parent review blogs and forums
Librarian and teacher recommendations
Preview services that screen for content

2. Resilience Role Model Discussions

Purpose: To provide concrete examples of people who have overcome challenges through perseverance, helping children internalize possibilities for resilience.

Materials Needed:

Age-appropriate biographies or stories
Role model profile cards
Discussion question prompts
World map or timeline

Role model journal
Pictures of diverse role models
Art supplies for projects
Internet access for research

Steps:

1. Selecting Appropriate Role Models:

Choose examples that resonate with your child:

Include diverse types of resilience:
1. Historical figures who overcame significant odds
2. Contemporary people making a difference
3. Children or teens showing courage and determination
4. People from your community or family
5. Individuals with challenges similar to your child’s
Consider your child’s interests and challenges:
1. Choose some role models related to their passions
2. Include people who overcame similar difficulties
3. Find examples relevant to current struggles
4. Mix well-known and lesser-known figures
5. Include role models from similar backgrounds
Prepare age-appropriate information:
1. Simplify complex situations without trivializing
2. Focus on process rather than just outcomes
3. Include setbacks as well as successes
4. Present honest but hopeful narratives
5. Use pictures, videos, and objects when possible

2. Introducing Role Models Effectively:

Present resilience stories in engaging ways:

Create a natural introduction:
1. “I heard a really interesting story today…”
2. “Did you know there was a person who…”
3. “This reminds me of someone I learned about…”
4. “I found a book about someone I think you’d like…”
Use multiple formats:
1. Read picture book biographies
2. Watch short documentaries or videos
3. Tell stories during car rides or mealtimes
4. Create role model cards with pictures and facts
5. Visit museums or historical sites when possible
Make it interactive:
1. Ask for predictions about what happened next
2. Pause for reactions and questions
3. Compare to familiar experiences
4. Act out parts of the story
5. Create drawings of key moments

3. Facilitating Meaningful Discussions:

Guide conversations toward resilience lessons:

Ask open-ended questions:
1. “What challenges did this person face?”
2. “How do you think they felt when things got hard?”
3. “What helped them keep going?”
4. “What choices did they make that made a difference?”
5. “What do you admire most about them?”
Make personal connections:
1. “Have you ever felt like this person did?”
2. “What do you have in common with them?”
3. “How might their story help you with your challenges?”
4. “What could you try that they tried?”
Highlight specific resilience strategies:
1. Getting help from others
2. Breaking big challenges into smaller steps
3. Learning from failures
4. Using personal strengths
5. Finding meaning in difficulties

4. Extending Learning Through Activities:

Deepen understanding through hands-on experiences:

Create role model projects:
1. Draw portraits with “resilience quotes”
2. Make a timeline of their journey
3. Write letters to living role models
4. Create a newspaper about their achievements
5. Role-play interviews with the person
Connect to current events:
1. Look for news about contemporary role models
2. Discuss how historical figures might approach today’s problems
3. Compare challenges across time periods
4. Find local examples of resilience in action
Apply lessons concretely:
1. “What would [role model] do in your situation?”
2. Try a strategy used by a role model
3. Create a personal motto inspired by a role model
4. Set a goal inspired by someone’s example
5. Start a project related to a role model’s work

5. Building a Resilience Role Model Library:

Create an ongoing resource of inspiring examples:

Develop a role model collection:
1. Create a special bookshelf of biographies
2. Make a role model binder with profiles
3. Start a family “heroes” journal
4. Create a wall of inspiration pictures
5. Record video messages about favorite role models
Regularly add new examples:
1. Research a new role model monthly
2. Ask family members to share their heroes
3. Look for diverse examples across cultures
4. Find role models related to current interests
5. Include everyday heroes from your community

Age-Appropriate Role Models for 7-Year-Olds:

Ruby Bridges (school integration pioneer)
Helen Keller (overcame significant disabilities)
Malala Yousafzai (education activist)
Katherine Johnson (NASA mathematician)
Terry Fox (athlete who ran for cancer research)
Local community helpers (firefighters, teachers, etc.)
Family members who overcame challenges

3. Hero's Journey Project

Purpose: To help children understand and internalize the universal pattern of challenge, struggle, and triumph through creating their own stories.

Materials Needed:

Hero’s journey template
Story planning worksheets
Art supplies
Storytelling props

Recording device
Character profile sheets
Story presentation materials
Model stories as examples

Steps:

1. Introducing the Hero's Journey Concept:

Help your child understand this powerful narrative structure:

Explain the concept in child-friendly terms:
1. “Most great stories follow a special pattern.”]
2. “The main character (hero) goes on an adventure.”
3. “They face problems and challenges along the way.”
4. “They learn and grow stronger through these challenges.”
5. “In the end, they overcome the big problem and succeed.”
Share familiar examples:
1. Identify the pattern in favorite movies
2. Point out the journey in familiar books
3. Discuss how video game characters progress
4. Note the pattern in family stories
5. Watch a movie together and map the journey
Create a visual reference:
1. Draw a simple hero’s journey map
2. Use pictures to show the stages
3. Create a journey path with footprints
4. Make a mountain diagram with climbing stages
5. Design character cards showing transformation

2. Planning Their Own Hero's Story:

Guide your child in creating a meaningful narrative:

Develop the main character:
1. Create a character profile
2. Identify the character’s strengths
3. Determine areas for growth
4. Discuss what the character wants
5. Consider what the character needs
Design appropriate challenges:
1. Brainstorm obstacles the hero will face
2. Include both external problems and inner struggles
3. Create challenges that require growth
4. Balance difficulty with achievability
5. Add helpers and mentors
Map the story structure:
1. Beginning (ordinary world and call to adventure)
2. Middle (tests, allies, and challenges)
3. Transformation point (major crisis or challenge)
4. Resolution (return with new strengths and wisdom)

3. Creating the Story:

Support the creative development process:

Choose a suitable format:
1. Written story
2. Comic book
3. Illustrated storybook
4. Puppet show
5. Stop-motion animation
6. Oral storytelling with props
Provide appropriate support:
1. Help with writing for younger children
2. Offer artistic assistance when needed
3. Ask guiding questions to develop the story
4. Suggest additions that enhance the resilience message
5. Allow creative ownership of the project
Focus on resilience elements:
1. Emphasize how the character changes
2. Highlight moments of perseverance
3. Include strategies for overcoming obstacles
4. Show the character getting help when needed
5. Create a satisfying but realistic resolution

4. Sharing and Celebrating the Story:

Make presentation an important part of the process:

Create a special sharing event:
1. Invite family members or friends
2. Set up a “theater” or display area
3. Make simple programs or invitations
4. Prepare snacks or treats
5. Document the presentation
Guide meaningful audience interaction:
1. Prepare the audience to give specific feedback
2. Ask questions that highlight resilience
3. Invite audience to share what they appreciated
4. Create a supportive atmosphere
5. Capture reactions and responses
Recognize the achievement:
1. Acknowledge the work that went into the project
2. Point out specific resilience messages
3. Frame or display the creation
4. Take photos of the child with their work
5. Create a special certificate or award

5. Connecting to Personal Resilience:

Help your child apply story lessons to their own life:

- - Discuss parallels to their experiences:
    - “How is your character like you?”
    - “Have you ever faced challenges like your hero?”
    - “What strategies from the story could help you?”
    - “How did your character change, and how have you changed?”
  - Create personal hero statements:
    - “I can be a hero when I…”
    - “When things get hard, I can…”
    - “My special strengths are…”
    - “I can overcome challenges by…”
  - Revisit the story during challenges:
    - “Remember how your character handled problems?”
    - “What would your hero do in this situation?”
    - “You’re on your own hero’s journey right now.”

Story Starter Ideas:

A character who must overcome a fear
Someone learning a difficult new skill
A journey to find something important
A character who must solve a mystery
Someone who helps others despite their own challenges

4. Inspiration Board

Purpose: To create a visual reminder of positive messages, personal strengths, and motivating examples that counteract negative influences.

Materials Needed:

Poster board, cork board, or magnetic board
Magazines for cutting
Printed quotes and images
Photos of the child succeeding

Colored markers and paper
Scissors and adhesive
Decorative materials
Personal mementos of success

Steps:

1. Planning a Meaningful Board:

Design a visual tool that addresses specific needs:

Discuss the board’s purpose:
1. “This board will be full of things that make you feel strong.”
2. “We’ll put up reminders of your special powers and talents.”
3. “It will help you remember positive thoughts when things get hard.”
4. “We can look at it together when you’re feeling down.”
Choose a strategic location:
1. Child’s bedroom where they’ll see it daily
2. Near their homework space
3. In a family area for regular viewing
4. At eye level for easy access
5. Away from distracting areas
Determine appropriate categories:
1. Strengths and talents
2. Achievements and milestones
3. Positive affirmations
4. Inspiring quotes
5. Role models and heroes
6. Goals and dreams
7. Favorite memories

2. Gathering Inspiring Materials:

Collect items that have personal meaning and positive impact:

Guide the selection process:
1. “Let’s find pictures that show things you’re good at.”
2. “What words make you feel strong when you read them?”
3. “Who inspires you that we could include?”
4. “What colors give you happy, confident feelings?”
Look for various types of content:
1. Photos of the child succeeding or being happy
2. Images that represent their interests and strengths
3. Quotes in child-friendly language
4. Symbols of achievements (ribbons, certificates)
5. Pictures of role models
6. Artwork created by the child
7. Notes from family members
Create custom elements:
1. Hand-written affirmations
2. Personalized strengths list
3. Drawings of future goals
4. “I can” statements
5. Decorated frames for special items

3. Creating the Board Together:

Make the construction process meaningful and engaging:

Prepare with intentionality:
1. Choose a time when your child is in a positive mood
2. Gather all materials in advance
3. Create a comfortable workspace
4. Put on uplifting music if helpful
5. Make it feel like a special project
Guide the arrangement:
1. Start with most important elements
2. Group related items together
3. Create a balanced visual layout
4. Ensure text is large enough to read easily
5. Allow your child to make final decisions
Add personal touches:
1. Create a meaningful title (e.g., “Sarah’s Powers”)
2. Add decorative elements
3. Include interactive elements if desired
4. Make it visually appealing
5. Ensure it reflects your child’s personality

4. Implementing the Board in Daily Life:

Make the inspiration board an active tool, not just decoration:

Establish regular interaction times:
1. Morning routine review
2. After-school check-in
3. Before challenging situations
4. When feeling discouraged
5. Weekly reflection time
Guide meaningful engagement:
1. Ask which part feels most helpful today
2. Touch or point to relevant elements
3. Read affirmations aloud together
4. Share how specific items make you feel
5. Connect board elements to current situations
Refer to the board during teachable moments:
1. “Remember what your board says about your strengths?”
2. “Let’s look at your inspiration board for some ideas.”
3. “Which of your role models might have advice for this?”
4. “Your board reminds us that you can handle challenges.”

5. Evolving the Board Over Time:

Keep the inspiration board fresh and relevant:

Update regularly:
1. Add new achievements
2. Replace items that no longer resonate
3. Include new interests and goals
4. Refresh quotes and affirmations
5. Add photos of new experiences
Mark progress visibly:
1. Show goals accomplished
2. Track growth in skills
3. Note challenges overcome
4. Celebrate milestones
5. Document new strengths discovered
Schedule board reviews:
1. Monthly update sessions
2. Seasonal refreshes
3. Addition of birthday accomplishments
4. Year-end reflection and planning
5. After significant achievements or challenges

Board Categories to Consider:

“My Superpowers” (strengths and skills)
“I Can…” (abilities and achievements)
“My Helpers” (supportive people)
“My Heroes” (role models)
“My Goals” (things to work toward)
“Happy Memories” (positive experiences)
“Words That Help” (affirmations and quotes)

5. Positive Reflections Routine

Purpose: To establish a daily practice that intentionally focuses attention on positive experiences, counteracting the brain’s natural negativity bias.

Materials Needed:

Reflection journal or notebook
Conversation starter cards
Special reflection spot
Timer or chime

Celebration tokens
Reflection jar
Recording device (optional)
Reflection ritual items

Steps:

1. Establishing a Consistent Routine:

Create a sustainable daily practice:

Choose an optimal time:
1. After school before homework
2. During dinner as a family activity
3. As part of bedtime routine
4. Morning breakfast check-in
5. Weekend reflection time
Create environmental cues:
1. Designated reflection spot
2. Special candle or light
3. Reflection journal in visible location
4. Timer or gentle chime
5. Visual reminder in daily schedule
Start with appropriate duration:
1. 3-5 minutes for beginners
2. Gradually extend as the habit develops
3. Keep consistent daily timing
4. Adjust based on attention span and interest
5. Allow for occasional extended sessions

2. Guiding Positive Reflections:

Provide structure that makes reflection accessible:

Offer child-friendly prompts:
1. “What made you smile today?”
2. “When did you feel proud of yourself?”
3. “Who was kind to you today?”
4. “What’s something you learned?”
5. “What’s something beautiful you noticed?”
6. “How did you help someone else today?”
Create engaging formats:
1. Three good things
2. High-low-buffalo (best, challenging, surprising)
3. Gratitude alphabet (find something for each letter)
4. Success scavenger hunt
5. Happiness highlights
Model effective reflection:
1. Share your own positive reflections
2. Demonstrate appropriate detail and depth
3. Express authentic positive emotions
4. Connect reflections to values and strengths
5. Show how to find positives even on difficult days

3. Deepening the Reflection Experience:

Move beyond surface-level observations:

Ask follow-up questions:
1. “What made that moment special?”
2. “How did that make you feel inside?”
3. “What strengths did you use in that situation?”
4. “Who helped make that good thing happen?”
5. “What does that tell you about yourself?”
Connect to bigger themes:
1. Personal values demonstrated
2. Character strengths utilized
3. Progress toward goals
4. Important relationships
5. Growing areas of competence
Balance different types of reflections:
1. Achievement-related successes
2. Relationship moments
3. Character development
4. Small joys and pleasures
5. Contributions to others
6. Personal growth moments

4. Documenting Positive Reflections:

Create a record that builds over time:

Choose an appropriate documentation method:
1. Written journal entries
2. Voice recordings
3. Drawing or art responses
4. Reflection cards in a special box
5. Digital photo journal with captions
Make documentation engaging:
1. Use colored pens or stickers
2. Add small drawings or symbols
3. Include photos when relevant
4. Create special templates
5. Allow for creativity in format
Create meaningful organization:
1. Date each entry
2. Create categories of positive experiences
3. Number consecutive days of practice
4. Group by themes or types
5. Note patterns and favorites

5. Sustaining and Extending the Practice:

Keep the routine fresh and meaningful:

Address potential challenges:
1. Have backup prompts for “nothing good happened” days
2. Adjust timing if the current schedule isn’t working
3. Simplify on busy days rather than skipping
4. Provide more structure when needed
5. Make it playful if it becomes a chore
Create motivation through:
1. Tracking consecutive days
2. Special celebrations at milestones
3. Sharing with trusted others
4. Noticing positive effects
5. Connecting to improved mood
Extend to broader practices:
1. Weekly highlight reviews
2. Monthly top ten lists
3. Year-end reflection books
4. Positive memory collections
5. Sharing reflections with extended family

Special Adaptations:

For reluctant participants: Start with just one reflection, use drawing, or try “either/or” choices
For highly verbal children: Create themed reflections or more detailed journal entries
For active children: Incorporate movement or active response options
For creative children: Add art, music, or performance elements

These activities to limit negative influences while promoting positive ones help children develop:

Critical thinking about media messages
Internal models of resilience and courage
Visual reminders of their strengths and values
Personal narratives of overcoming challenges
Daily habits of noticing the positive

Remember that the goal isn’t to eliminate all negative content or shield children from life’s realities.
Rather, it’s to create a balanced environment where positive, resilience-building influences outweigh negative ones, while teaching children to think critically about the messages they encounter.

Next Steps

Begin with the activity that addresses your child’s most significant exposure to negative influences
Implement practices gradually to avoid overwhelming your child
Be consistent in modeling the behaviors you hope to encourage
Notice and celebrate positive changes in your child’s perspective
Adapt activities as your child grows and media landscapes change

The goal is to help your child develop an internal filter for negative messages and a natural orientation toward constructive, empowering perspectives—skills that will serve them well throughout life as they navigate increasingly complex media and social environments.