Teach Emotional Intelligence: Building Awareness, Understanding, and Regulation

Emotional intelligence—the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in oneself and others—forms the foundation for resilience, healthy relationships, and effective problem-solving.

Children who develop strong emotional intelligence are better equipped to handle life’s challenges without falling into patterns of self-pity or helplessness.

These activities are designed to help 7-year-olds develop the components of emotional intelligence: emotional awareness, vocabulary, expression, regulation, and empathy.

Through regular practice with these skills, children learn to navigate their emotional landscape with confidence and flexibility rather than becoming overwhelmed or stuck in negative feelings.

Activities

1. Emotion Chart

Purpose: To develop emotional awareness and vocabulary through visual representation and regular identification of feelings.

Materials Needed:

Poster board or large paper
Markers, colored pencils, or paint
Magazine pictures (optional)
Emotion word cards
Emotion chart template

Photos of the child showing different emotions (optional)
Emotion intensity scale
Sticky notes or emotion indicator (clothespin, magnet)

Steps:

1. Creating a Comprehensive Emotion Chart:

Design a visual tool that represents a wide range of feelings:

Select an appropriate format:
1. Facial expressions with emotion labels
2. Color-coded emotion families
3. Emotion intensity scales (small to big feelings)
4. Body outlines showing physical sensations
5. Combination approach with multiple elements
Include an appropriate range of emotions:
1. Basic emotions (happy, sad, angry, scared, surprised, disgusted)
2. Social emotions (proud, embarrassed, guilty, grateful)
3. Complex emotions (disappointed, frustrated, worried, excited)
4. Positive and challenging emotions in balance
5. Nuanced variations (irritated vs. furious, content vs. ecstatic)
Make it visually engaging and age-appropriate:
1. Use bright colors and clear images
2. Include your child’s input on design
3. Make it large enough to see easily
4. Consider laminating for durability
5. Add interactive elements if desired

2. Introducing the Chart Effectively:

Help your child understand and connect with the tool:

Have an exploratory conversation:
1. “These are different feelings people have.”
2. “Let’s look at each face/color and talk about what it means.”
3. “When might someone feel this way?”
4. “Have you ever felt like this? What happened?”
5. “What happens in your body when you feel this way?”
Make personal connections:
1. Share your own experiences with different emotions
2. Discuss recent emotional situations your child experienced
3. Look for examples in books or shows
4. Take photos of family members making different expressions
5. Create stories about when people might feel each emotion
Explain how the chart will be used:
1. Daily check-ins to identify feelings
2. During emotional moments to help name feelings
3. For discussions about characters in books or shows
4. To explore emotional changes throughout the day
5. As a tool for communicating needs

3. Implementing Regular Chart Check-ins:

Establish a consistent practice of emotional awareness:

Create a daily emotional check-in routine:
1. Morning mood check to start the day
2. After-school emotional temperature taking
3. Dinner table feeling round-robin
4. Bedtime reflection on the day’s emotions
5. Transition time check-ins (before/after activities)
Use engaging check-in methods:
1. Moving a clothespin or magnet to the current emotion
2. Drawing the day’s emotional journey
3. Selecting emotion cards from a deck
4. Using a feelings thermometer for intensity
5. Creating a daily emotions pie chart
Ask emotion-focused questions:
1. “How are you feeling right now?”
2. “Has your feeling changed since this morning?”
3. “Can you find the face on our chart that matches how you feel?”
4. “Is your feeling a little, medium, or big feeling?”
5. “Are you feeling more than one emotion right now?”

4. Using the Chart During Emotional Moments:

Apply the tool when feelings are active:

During escalating emotions:
1. Calmly direct attention to the chart
2. “Let’s see which feeling this might be.”
3. Validate the identified emotion
4. Discuss intensity level
5. Connect to potential triggers
After emotional episodes:
1. Revisit the chart when calm
2. Trace the progression of emotions
3. Identify any missed early warning signs
4. Discuss how emotions changed and why
5. Plan for similar situations
For mixed or confusing emotions:
1. Acknowledge multiple feelings can coexist
2. Identify each separate emotion
3. Discuss how they interact
4. Prioritize which needs attention first
5. Normalize emotional complexity

5. Expanding Emotional Vocabulary and Awareness:

Gradually deepen emotional understanding:

Evolve the chart over time:
1. Add new emotions as they’re encountered
2. Introduce more nuanced emotion words
3. Create emotion family groupings
4. Add coping strategies for each emotion
5. Include physical sensations associated with emotions
Connect emotions to broader concepts:
1. Discuss how emotions provide information
2. Explore how emotions influence decisions
3. Examine how emotions affect relationships
4. Connect emotions to values and needs
5. Recognize cultural aspects of emotional expression
Track emotional patterns:
1. Note frequently experienced emotions
2. Identify common triggers
3. Recognize emotional responses to specific situations
4. Observe changes in emotional responses over time
5. Celebrate growing emotional awareness

Adaptations for Different Needs:

For children who struggle with facial expressions: Use color or symbol-based systems
For highly verbal children: Include more complex emotion words and descriptions
For active children: Create a movement-based emotion identification system
For artistic children: Encourage creation of personalized emotion drawings

2. Emotions Role-Play

Purpose: To develop emotional understanding, expression, and empathy through active practice in a playful, low-pressure environment.

Materials Needed:

Emotion scenario cards
Simple props or costumes
Emotion dice or spinner
Puppets (optional)
Role-play setting materials

Mirror for facial expression practice
Emotion cue cards
Recording device (optional)
Discussion guide

Steps:

1. Creating Engaging Role-Play Scenarios:

Develop age-appropriate situations for emotional exploration:

Design scenario cards with relatable situations:
1. Playground interactions (not being included in a game)
2. Classroom challenges (making a mistake in front of others)
3. Family situations (sibling conflicts, waiting for a turn)
4. Achievement contexts (trying something difficult, making progress)
5. Social dilemmas (friend plays with someone else, receiving criticism)
Structure scenarios with emotional learning in mind:
1. Clear emotional trigger or challenge
2. Opportunity for different emotional responses
3. Realistic but not overly complex
4. Connections to your child’s experiences
5. Potential for positive resolution
Include various emotional focus areas:
1. Handling disappointment
2. Managing frustration or anger
3. Working through fears
4. Navigating social emotions (embarrassment, jealousy)
5. Expressing joy and excitement appropriately
6. Showing empathy for others’ feelings

2. Setting the Stage for Successful Role-Play:

Create a supportive environment for emotional practice:

Prepare the physical space:
1. Clear area with room to move
2. Simple props or setting indicators
3. Comfortable, private space for exploration
4. Mirror for observing expressions (optional)
5. Emotion chart for reference
Establish helpful guidelines:
1. No judgement of emotional expressions
2. Emphasis on exploration, not performance
3. Permission to try different responses
4. Ability to pause or stop if uncomfortable
5. Balance of seriousness and playfulness
Introduce role-play positively:
1. “We’re going to practice different feelings.”
2. “This is like being an emotion scientist.”
3. “It’s just pretend, so we can try different things.”
4. “There’s no wrong way to do this.”
5. “This helps us understand how feelings work.”

3. Guiding Productive Role-Play Sessions:

Facilitate meaningful emotional practice:

Begin with structured approaches:
1. Clear scenario introduction
2. Defined roles (who plays whom)
3. Brief planning time before starting
4. Option to use puppets or toys initially
5. Demonstration of process first if needed
During the role-play, offer gentle guidance:
1. Narrate the scenario as needed
2. Prompt with questions if stuck
3. Suggest emotion words if struggling
4. Pause to discuss interesting moments
5. Encourage authentic expression
Incorporate different role-play formats:
1. Switch roles to experience different perspectives
2. Try the same scenario with different emotional responses
3. Use “freeze frame” to discuss key moments
4. Add “thought bubbles” to express internal feelings
5. Create “alternate endings” for different choices

4. Facilitating Reflection and Discussion:

Help children extract insights from the experience:

After each role-play, discuss key aspects:
1. “How did you feel when playing that role?”
2. “What was challenging about that emotion?”
3. “How did your body show the feeling?”
4. “What might help someone feeling that way?”
5. “Have you ever felt similar to this character?”
Explore multiple response options:
1. “What are different ways someone could respond?”
2. “How might the outcome change with a different response?”
3. “Which response feels most helpful?”
4. “What might be a better way to handle those feelings?”
5. “What could other people do to help in this situation?”
Connect to real-life application:
1. “When have you been in a situation like this?”
2. “What did you do when that happened to you?”
3. “What might you try next time based on our practice?”
4. “How could understanding these feelings help at school/home?”
5. “What did you learn that you want to remember?”

5. Building Progression in Emotional Role-Play:

Develop skills and complexity over time:

Start with simpler emotional scenarios:
1. Clear, single emotions
2. Familiar situations
3. Short interactions
4. Optional use of puppets or toys
5. Heavy adult guidance and modeling
Gradually increase complexity:
1. Mixed or conflicting emotions
2. More nuanced social situations
3. Longer scenario sequences
4. Direct role-playing (without puppets)
5. More child-directed exploration
Extend to applied practice:
1. Role-play upcoming challenging situations
2. Practice specific emotional skills
3. Act out alternative responses to past difficulties
4. Create “emotional toolbox” scenarios
5. Develop child-created scenario cards

Role-Play Scenario Examples:

“You really want a turn on the swing but another child has been on it for a long time.”
“You worked hard on a drawing and your younger sibling accidentally ripped it.”
“You’re excited about your new toy and want to tell your friend all about it, but they seem uninterested.”
“You’re playing a game and having trouble understanding the rules while everyone else seems to get it.”
“You made a mistake while reading aloud in class and some children laughed.”

3. Feelings Journal

Purpose: To develop emotional awareness, reflection, and healthy expression through regular private documentation of experiences and feelings.

Materials Needed:

Age-appropriate journal or notebook
Writing and drawing tools
Feeling word reference sheet
Journal prompt cards
Sharing guidelines

Decorative materials for personalization
Emotion stickers (optional)
Private storage space
Scheduled journal time

Steps:

1. Creating a Personal Feelings Journal:

Make the journal special and inviting:

Involve your child in selecting and personalizing:
1. Choose a journal that appeals to them
2. Decorate the cover together
3. Add their name and a meaningful title
4. Include an encouraging message inside
5. Create special bookmarks or page markers
Establish journal purpose and guidelines:
1. Explain that this is a safe space for feelings
2. Discuss privacy boundaries you’ll respect
3. Clarify when and how sharing might happen
4. Emphasize that all feelings are acceptable
5. Explain there’s no “right way” to use the journal
Design a flexible format that fits your child:
1. Blank pages for freedom of expression
2. Simple templates for structure if needed
3. Feeling words reference lists
4. Combination of writing and drawing space
5. Optional emotion stickers or stamps

2. Establishing a Regular Journaling Routine:

Create consistency that builds the reflection habit:

Set up a sustainable schedule:
1. Daily for shorter entries (5-10 minutes)
2. Several times weekly for longer reflections
3. Consistent times that work with routines
4. Additional as-needed emotional processing
5. Balance consistency with flexibility
Create environmental supports:
1. Designated journaling space
2. Minimize distractions during journal time
3. Keep supplies organized and accessible
4. Visual reminder in daily schedule
5. Journal stored in accessible but private location
Provide appropriate structure:
1. Clear beginning and end to sessions
2. Timer for younger children if helpful
3. Starting ritual (deep breath, opening words)
4. Closing ritual (rereading, reflection moment)
5. System for dating and tracking entries

3. Guiding Meaningful Journal Content:

Support expression without directing it:

Offer diverse journaling prompts:
1. “What was the strongest feeling you had today?”
2. “Draw a picture of how you’re feeling right now.”
3. “What made you smile/frown/worry today?”
4. “Write about a time you felt proud/scared/excited.”
5. “What feeling was hardest to handle today?”
Suggest various expression methods:
1. Written descriptions of experiences
2. Drawings of emotional situations
3. Emotion words with intensity ratings
4. Body outlines with emotion sensations
5. Collages of images representing feelings
6. Color coding different emotions
Balance different types of emotional exploration:
1. Record of daily emotional experiences
2. Deep dives into specific feelings
3. Connections between events and emotions
4. Exploration of emotional reactions
5. Strategies for handling different feelings
6. Gratitude and positive emotion entries

4. Supporting Healthy Sharing and Discussion:

Create opportunities for processing without pressure:

Establish respectful sharing guidelines:
1. Child controls what is shared
2. Regular opportunities to share if desired
3. Simple signal system for requesting discussion
4. Designated sharing times
5. Clear boundaries around privacy
Respond supportively when something is shared:
1. Thank them for sharing
2. Listen without immediate problem-solving
3. Ask open questions about their experience
4. Validate feelings without judgment
5. Reflect what you hear to confirm understanding
Connect journal insights to daily life:
1. Notice patterns mentioned in entries
2. Reference journal strategies during challenges
3. Remind of journaling option during emotional moments
4. Point out growth evident in journal over time
5. Suggest specific prompts for current experiences

5. Evolving the Journal Practice:

Grow the journaling approach alongside development:

Expand emotional sophistication:
1. Introduce new feeling words and concepts
2. Explore emotion combinations and complexities
3. Investigate triggers and patterns
4. Connect emotions to needs and values
5. Develop personal emotional intelligence insights
Add new journaling techniques:
1. Dialogue writing for conflicting feelings
2. “Dear Future Self” entries about challenges
3. “Emotion Detective” investigations of reactions
4. Gratitude and strength spotting
5. Solution-focused entries
Build long-term reflection skills:
1. Monthly review of entries
2. Noting emotional growth and patterns
3. Creating personal emotional wisdom pages
4. Developing personalized coping strategies
5. Celebrating emotional understanding milestones

Journal Adaptation Ideas:

For children with limited writing skills: Use dictation, drawing, or voice recording
For reluctant journalists: Try a shared journal where you write entries back and forth
For highly private children: Respect boundaries and offer alternative processing methods
For children who prefer structure: Create simple templates with feeling checklists

4. Calm Down Kit

Purpose: To develop self-regulation skills through concrete tools and strategies that help manage big emotions effectively.

Materials Needed:

Container for the kit (box, bag, bin)
Sensory items (stress ball, fidgets, putty)
Visual calming elements (glitter jar, liquid timer)
Breathing reminder cards
Comfort items (small stuffed animal, soft fabric)

Distraction tools (books, coloring supplies)
Physical release options (bubble wrap, running plan)
Personalization supplies
Strategy cards
Calm-down space designation items

Steps:

1. Building a Personalized Calm Down Kit:

Create a concrete resource for emotional regulation:

Select an appropriate container:
1. Easily opened by the child
2. Portable if needed
3. Sturdy enough for regular use
4. Attractive and appealing
5. Properly sized for contents
Include items from key regulation categories:
1. Sensory regulation (items to touch, squeeze, or manipulate)
2. Visual calming (items to watch or look at)
3. Breathing support (tools for deep breathing)
4. Emotional expression (journal, feelings cards)
5. Physical release (appropriate movement options)
6. Cognitive redirection (positive thoughts, distractions)
7. Comfort and security (items that provide reassurance)
Personalize based on your child’s preferences:
1. Include favorite colors or characters
2. Consider sensory preferences and aversions
3. Reflect personal interests and comforts
4. Test different items to find what works best
5. Allow your child to help decorate and organize

2. Introducing the Kit and Building Understanding:

Help your child understand how and when to use the kit:

Explain the purpose in child-friendly terms:
1. “This is a special kit to help with big feelings.”
2. “When emotions feel too big, these tools can help you feel better.”
3. “Different tools work for different feelings and different people.”
4. “Using these tools shows you’re growing up and learning to help yourself.”
5. “Everyone needs help with big feelings sometimes.”
Demonstrate each item’s use:
1. Show how to use each tool correctly
2. Explain when each might be helpful
3. Connect to specific emotions or situations
4. Practice using tools when calm first
5. Create simple instructions for reference
Discuss the brain science at an appropriate level:
1. “Big feelings can make our thinking brain take a break.”
2. “These tools help our body calm down so our thinking brain can work again.”
3. “When we’re very upset, we need to calm our body first before we can solve problems.”
4. “Using these tools helps different parts of your brain work together better.”

3. Teaching a Calm-Down Process:

Provide structure for using the kit effectively:

Develop a simple regulation sequence:
1. Recognize the emotional state (feeling check)
2. Pause before reacting
3. Choose appropriate tool(s) from the kit
4. Use the tool for regulation
5. Check in on feeling state again
6. Return to the situation or problem-solve
Create visual reminder cards for the process:
1. Step-by-step pictures of the sequence
2. Feeling thermometer for checking emotional state
3. Decision tree for choosing appropriate tools
4. Deep breathing reminder cards
5. Positive self-talk statements
Practice the process regularly when calm:
1. Role-play using the kit
2. Have “practice drills” for different emotions
3. Take turns demonstrating the steps
4. Create muscle memory for the sequence
5. Make it playful and positive

4. Supporting Kit Usage During Emotional Moments:

Help your child apply their skills when emotions are high:

Watch for early warning signs of emotional escalation:
1. Physical cues (flushed face, tense body)
2. Behavioral changes (louder voice, faster movements)
3. Verbal cues (“It’s not fair!”, repetitive statements)
4. Attention changes (more distractible or hyper-focused)
5. Early emotional expressions (whining, sulking)
Provide supportive prompting:
1. Gentle, calm reminders about the kit
2. Simple language: “Calm down kit time?”
3. Physical guidance toward the kit if needed
4. Reduced verbal input during high emotion
5. Patience with resistance or difficulty
Offer appropriate assistance:
1. More help initially, gradually reducing support
2. Physical proximity without interference
3. Join in calm-down activities if welcomed
4. Model regulation strategies yourself
5. Acknowledge effort regardless of outcome

5. Refining and Evolving the Kit:

Adapt the resource as needs and skills change:

Regularly review effectiveness:
1. “Which tools do you find most helpful?”
2. “Are there any tools you don’t use much?”
3. “What feelings are hardest to calm down from?”
4. “What else might help when you feel [emotion]?”
5. “How has the kit been working for you?”
Update contents based on development:
1. Add more sophisticated strategies over time
2. Include more cognitive and verbal tools as appropriate
3. Remove items that are no longer effective
4. Address changing emotional challenges
5. Adjust for growing independence
Connect to broader emotional intelligence skills:
1. Link to emotion vocabulary development
2. Connect to problem-solving after regulation
3. Add reflection components
4. Include relationship repair strategies
5. Develop proactive regulation approaches

Calm Down Kit Contents Examples:

Sensory tools: Stress ball, putty, textured fabric, sensory bottle
Movement tools: Jump rope, yoga pose cards, stretching guide
Breathing tools: Pinwheel, bubble wand, breathing visual
Distraction tools: Joke book, small puzzle, fidget spinner
Comfort tools: Special stone, family photo, stuffed animal
Cognitive tools: Positive statement cards, gratitude prompts

5. Problem-Solving Together

Purpose: To develop the skills to address emotional challenges systematically, connecting feelings to constructive action.

Materials Needed:

Problem-solving steps visual guide
Emotions and solutions cards
Problem-solving worksheet
Feelings check-in tools

Solution brainstorming paper
Implementation plan template
Reflection journal
Success celebration supplies

Steps:

1. Creating a Problem-Solving Framework:

Develop a clear, consistent approach to emotional challenges:

Establish a simple problem-solving sequence:
1. Identify and acknowledge the feeling
2. Define the specific problem
3. Generate multiple possible solutions
4. Evaluate each solution
5. Choose and implement a solution
6. Reflect on the outcome
Create visual supports for the process:
1. Step-by-step chart with pictures and words
2. Problem-solving mat with spaces for each step
3. Feelings-to-solutions pathway visual
4. Decision-making flow chart
5. Solution evaluation tools
Introduce using concrete, non-emotional examples:
1. Demonstrate with a simple practical problem first
2. Use stories or scenarios initially
3. Role-play with puppets or toys
4. Draw or map out the process
5. Create a problem-solving character or mascot

2. Applying the Framework to Emotional Situations:

Help children connect feelings to the problem-solving process:

Begin with emotion identification and acceptance:
1. “Let’s check in with your feelings first.”
2. “It looks like you’re feeling [emotion]. Is that right?”
3. “It’s perfectly okay to feel that way.”
4. “Let’s take some deep breaths together before we think about this.”
5. “When you’re ready, we can figure this out together.”
Guide clear problem definition:
1. “What exactly is happening that’s difficult right now?”
2. “When did you start feeling this way?”
3. “What would you like to be different?”
4. “Is this about [specific situation] or something else too?”
5. “Let’s make sure we understand the real problem.”
Support thorough solution generation:
1. “What are some things you could do about this?”
2. “Let’s think of at least three different ideas.”
3. “What might someone else do in this situation?”
4. “Is there a way to get help with this problem?”
5. “Let’s think of one really different solution.”

3. Developing Solution Evaluation Skills:

Teach children to assess options thoughtfully:

Guide consequence consideration:
1. “What might happen if you tried this solution?”
2. “How might other people feel or respond?”
3. “Would this solution cause any new problems?”
4. “Is this solution fair to everyone involved?”
5. “Would this solution work in the long run?”
Create age-appropriate evaluation methods:
1. Happy/sad face ratings for each option
2. Pros and cons lists (drawn or dictated)
3. Solution ranking system
4. “Would it work?” prediction scale
5. Solution testing plans
Support decision-making:
1. Balance between guidance and autonomy
2. Appropriate level of risk-taking
3. Consideration of values and priorities
4. Commitment to trying the chosen solution
5. Preparation for implementation

4. Implementing Solutions Effectively:

Help children put their chosen solution into action:

Create specific implementation plans:
1. Break solution into concrete steps
2. Determine what help might be needed
3. Practice or rehearse challenging aspects
4. Anticipate potential obstacles
5. Set a timeline for action
Provide appropriate support:
1. More guidance initially, gradually stepping back
2. Encouragement during challenging moments
3. Reminders of the chosen solution when needed
4. Practical assistance while maintaining ownership
5. Recognition of courage in trying solutions
Address setbacks constructively:
1. Normalize that not all solutions work perfectly
2. Avoid blame or “I told you so” responses
3. Focus on learning from the experience
4. Adjust or try alternative solutions
5. Celebrate the attempt regardless of outcome

5. Reflecting and Building Problem-Solving Identity:

Help children internalize problem-solving skills:

Guide meaningful reflection:
1. “How did your solution work out?”
2. “What did you learn from trying this approach?”
3. “What might you do differently next time?”
4. “How do you feel about how you handled this?”
5. “What problem-solving skills did you use?”
Document successes and growth:
1. Keep a “Problems Solved” journal
2. Create solution stories with illustrations
3. Photograph successful resolutions
4. Record “lessons learned” wisdom
5. Track emotional problem-solving development
Build a problem-solver identity:
1. Notice and name problem-solving strengths
2. Share stories of past successes during challenges
3. Use affirming language: “You’re a good problem-solver”
4. Connect emotional regulation to solution-finding
5. Celebrate growing independence in addressing emotions

Problem Types to Practice With:

Friendship conflicts and disagreements
Disappointments and unmet expectations
Frustrations with difficult tasks
Fears and worries about new situations
Conflicts between wants and rules/limitations
Managing difficult emotions in public places

These emotional intelligence activities help children develop:

Awareness and recognition of emotions
Vocabulary to express feelings accurately
Understanding of emotions in themselves and others
Strategies for managing emotional intensity
Skills for addressing emotional challenges constructively

Remember that emotional intelligence develops gradually through consistent practice and supportive guidance.
By helping your child build these essential skills, you provide them with tools that naturally counter tendencies toward self-pity by fostering emotional resilience and agency.

Next Steps

Begin with the activity that addresses your child’s most immediate emotional needs
Implement practices gradually, starting with shorter, simpler versions
Model emotional intelligence in your own behavior
Notice and celebrate moments when your child demonstrates emotional skills
Remember that emotional development is not linear—patience and consistency are key

The goal is to help your child develop a healthy relationship with their emotions, viewing feelings as valuable information rather than overwhelming experiences to be avoided or stuck within. This balanced emotional perspective naturally reduces tendencies toward self-pity by fostering understanding, expression, and constructive action.