Your brain is constantly playing tricks on you. Not in a mean way, but in a “trying to help but sometimes messing up” way.
These tricks are called cognitive biases, and they affect literally everything:
Understanding these biases is like getting cheat codes for life. You can’t turn them off, but you can learn to spot them and make better decisions.
“Everyone is watching and judging me”
What it is: You think everyone notices your mistakes, appearance, and embarrassing moments way more than they actually do.
Real life: You spill something at lunch and feel like the whole cafeteria is staring. In reality, most people didn’t notice, and those who did forgot within minutes.
Reality check: Everyone is too busy worrying about their own spotlight to shine one on you.
“See, I knew I was right!”
What it is: You notice information that supports what you already believe and ignore information that doesn’t.
Real life: You think a certain teacher hates you, so you notice every time they’re strict with you but don’t notice when they’re strict with everyone else.
Reality check: Try to prove yourself wrong sometimes. It’s the only way to know if you’re actually right.
“I know everything about this” (after watching one YouTube video)
What it is: When you know very little about something, you overestimate your knowledge. When you know a lot, you realize how much you don’t know.
Real life: After one driving lesson, you think you’re ready for NASCAR. After 50 lessons, you realize driving is actually complex.
Reality check: If you think something is super easy, you probably don’t understand it fully yet.
“Everyone’s doing it”
What it is: You assume something is good or right because lots of people are doing it.
Real life: Everyone at school is wearing a certain brand, listening to a certain artist, or using a certain app, so you feel like you need to as well.
Reality check: Popular doesn’t always mean good. Sometimes everyone is wrong together.
“But what if I miss something amazing?”
What it is: You fear missing out on experiences more than you value gaining new ones. Losing feels worse than winning feels good.
Real life: You go to a party you don’t want to attend because you’re afraid of missing out. You keep toxic friends because losing friends feels worse than having bad ones.
Reality check: Missing out on one thing means you’re available for something else, possibly better.
“Compared to that, this seems reasonable”
What it is: The first piece of information you get disproportionately influences your judgment.
Real life: Your parents say “be home by 9 PM,” you ask for midnight, and 10:30 PM suddenly seems reasonable to them.
Reality check: The first number you hear isn’t magical. Think about what actually makes sense.
“I can think of an example, so it must be common”
What it is: You judge how common something is based on how easily you can remember examples.
Real life: You see one news story about a shark attack and become convinced the ocean is full of sharks waiting to eat you.
Reality check: Memorable doesn’t mean common. Boring stuff doesn’t make the news.
“I knew it all along”
What it is: After something happens, you convince yourself you predicted it.
Real life: After a couple breaks up, you think “I knew they wouldn’t last” even though you thought they were perfect together last week.
Reality check: Write down your actual predictions. You’ll be surprised how often you’re wrong.
“Why do I always remember the bad stuff?”
What it is: Negative experiences have more impact on you than positive ones.
Real life: You get 20 compliments and one criticism, but you only think about the criticism.
Reality check: Your brain evolved to keep you safe by focusing on threats. Actively notice the good stuff too.
“I’m not like other teens”
What it is: You think you’re better than average at most things.
Real life: You think you’re a better driver, friend, and student than most people your age. So does everyone else.
Reality check: Statistically, most of us are average at most things. And that’s okay!
“Future me can deal with that”
What it is: You value immediate rewards way more than future ones.
Real life: You choose to watch Netflix now instead of studying, even though you know you’ll regret it during the test.
Reality check: Future you is still you, and they’re going to be mad at present you.
“They’re just a bad person” vs “I had a bad day”
What it is: You judge others by their actions but yourself by your intentions.
Real life: When someone else is rude, they’re a jerk. When you’re rude, you were just stressed.
Reality check: Everyone has reasons for their behavior, just like you do.
“I’ve come this far…”
What it is: You continue doing something because you’ve already invested time/money/effort, even when it’s not worth it.
Real life: You keep watching a terrible show because you’ve already watched three seasons. You stay in a bad relationship because you’ve been together for a year.
Reality check: Past investment doesn’t make something worth continuing. Only future value does.
“That can’t be a coincidence!”
What it is: You see patterns in random events.
Real life: You think about someone and they text you, so you believe in telepathy. You wear your “lucky” socks and do well on a test.
Reality check: With billions of events happening, some coincidences are guaranteed. They’re not meaningful.
“That trip was amazing!” (forgetting the 6 hours of boredom)
What it is: You judge experiences by their best/worst moment and how they ended, not the overall experience.
Real life: You remember a party as awesome because the last hour was fun, forgetting you were bored most of the night.
Reality check: Consider the whole experience when making decisions about what to do again.
“Everyone thinks like me, right?”
What it is: You overestimate how much others share your opinions and behaviors.
Real life: You assume everyone finds the same things funny, likes the same music, or shares your political views.
Reality check: Your normal isn’t everyone’s normal. That’s what makes life interesting.
“They’re attractive, so they must be nice/smart/talented”
What it is: One positive trait makes you assume other positive traits.
Real life: You assume the popular kid is also smart, funny, and kind. You assume someone good at sports is good at everything.
Reality check: People are complex. Good at one thing doesn’t mean good at everything.
“I can definitely write this essay in an hour”
What it is: You underestimate how long tasks will take.
Real life: You think you can study for the test the night before, finish the project in one weekend, or get ready in 10 minutes.
Reality check: However long you think something will take, double it. At least.
“It’s growing on me”
What it is: You like things more just because you’re familiar with them.
Real life: A song you hated at first becomes your favorite after hearing it repeatedly. You become friends with people just because you see them every day.
Reality check: Familiar doesn’t mean better. Sometimes you need to try new things.
“Everyone can tell I’m nervous”
What it is: You think your internal feelings are obvious to others.
Real life: You think everyone can tell you have a crush, see that you’re anxious, or know you’re lying.
Reality check: Your internal experience is way more hidden than you think. Most people are terrible mind readers.
Your brain filters out most information to avoid overload. But sometimes it filters out important stuff or lets through stuff that confirms what you already believe.
When things don’t make sense, your brain makes up explanations. Sometimes these explanations are totally wrong.
To avoid paralysis, your brain pushes you to make quick decisions. Sometimes too quick.
Your brain edits your memories like Instagram filters, keeping what seems important and changing things to fit your current views.
Notice the Spotlight Effect: When you’re worried about your appearance
Catch Planning Fallacy: When estimating how long getting ready will take
Spot Confirmation Bias: In discussions or when researching
See Halo Effect: In how you judge classmates
Notice Social Proof: In trends and peer pressure
Find Availability Heuristic: In what seems “normal” based on posts
Catch Negativity Bias: In what comments stick with you
Spot False Consensus: In assuming everyone agrees with your posts
Notice Fundamental Attribution Error: When judging others
See Sunk Cost: In maintaining friendships that aren’t working
Spot FOMO: In your social decisions
Catch Hindsight Bias: “I knew that would happen”
Notice Peak-End Rule: How you remember your day
Spot Illusion of Transparency: Worrying others noticed your mistakes
Write down predictions about:
Check them later. You’ll be surprised how often you’re wrong.
Once a week, argue against something you strongly believe. Try to see the other side genuinely.
For one week, track how long things actually take vs. how long you thought they’d take.
Combat negativity bias by counting positive vs. negative events in your day. The ratio might surprise you.
When making decisions, ask: “What would I advise a friend to do in this situation?”
Mere Exposure Effect: Proximity creates friendship. Join clubs, sit near people, be present.
Similarity Bias: You’ll naturally connect with similar people, but try to appreciate differences too.
Fundamental Attribution Error: Give people second chances. Their bad day isn’t their personality.
Planning Fallacy: Start projects early. Earlier than feels necessary.
Dunning-Kruger: If a subject seems easy, you might be missing something. Dig deeper.
Present Bias: Use commitment devices like study groups to overcome procrastination.
Spotlight Effect: Nobody is analyzing your posts as much as you think.
Availability Heuristic: Instagram isn’t real life. People only post highlights.
Confirmation Bias: The algorithm shows you what you already like. Seek diverse perspectives.
Sunk Cost: Don’t stick with bad decisions just because you’ve invested time.
Anchoring: Don’t let the first option you see limit your thinking.
Loss Aversion: Sometimes taking a risk is better than playing it safe.
Halo Effect: Nobody is perfect just because they’re attractive or popular.
Fundamental Attribution Error: Consider their perspective before judging.
Confirmation Bias: Notice the good things about people, not just what confirms your first impression.
You can’t eliminate these biases. They’re built into your brain.
But you can:
The goal isn’t to be perfectly rational (that’s impossible and boring). The goal is to make better decisions and understand yourself and others better.
Keep track of which biases you notice most in yourself:
[ ] Spotlight Effect
[ ] Confirmation Bias
[ ] Planning Fallacy
[ ] Social Proof
[ ] FOMO
[ ] Negativity Bias
[ ] Present Bias
[ ] Fundamental Attribution Error
[ ] Hindsight Bias
[ ] Other: ___________
The ones you check most often are your “signature biases.” Focus on those first.
Your brain isn’t broken. It’s doing its best with hardware designed for a different world. These biases exist because they helped our ancestors survive. They still help us today, but they can also lead us astray.
The more you understand about how your mind works, the more power you have to use it well. You’re not trying to become a robot. You’re trying to become a more aware, compassionate, and effective human.
Plus, understanding these biases gives you a superpower: you can see when others are affected by them too. Use this power wisely and kindly.
Remember: Everyone’s brain is weird. That’s what makes us human.
To get our advanced guide on Cognitive Biases please see “Understanding Cognitive Biases“.
Remember, at QMAK, we don’t just teach; we empower. We don’t just inform; we inspire. We don’t just question; we act. Become a Gold Member, and let’s unlock your child’s full potential, one question at a time.